The shell without Humanity
by igore
Summary: Au during 'Grave' So it's a bit more original than most COMPLETE
1. Exit and Return

Title: The shell without Humanity  
Rating:PG-13  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
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"Your always saving someone, It's kinda pesky."  
  
She couldn't believe this was the person who once helped her with her French homework. Funny what memories get called up in a time of crisis. It's unbelievable that the person trying to kill them now once was her best friend. It hurts so much to fight her, but some things you don't get to choose. Especially when your friend tries to kill the man who you consider a father. I can see it in his eyes, how much this hurts him. But there's no time, got to try and stop her.  
  
The person in question looks at the fire considering something, then suddenly jerks as if shocked. For a moment she seems to be somewhere else. Eyes half closed, fluttering. Thinking or witnessing something far away. The two others cautiously approach trying to figure out how they can use this to there advantage. Both hopeful that this will be a turning point. Willows eyes suddenly snap open and they're on the defensive. But She seems shocked for a moment. Her voice almost seemed normal for once.  
  
"Wow. Wasn't expecting that."  
  
Buffy takes this as a chance. Maybe she could reach her.  
  
"Willow…"  
  
At the sound of her name Willows snaps to attention. Looking intently at her with a cruel smile. Buffy instantly regretted calling her attention. They had both seen the expression of Willows face. It's when something new is added to a already thought up plan. Her and Giles both knew things were going to get worse. They just didn't know how much.  
  
"This is too good to pass up."   
  
Her voice was even crueler than before. Solid ice in the air.   
  
"You save a lot of people. You're the holier than thou saint of Sunnydale. But you manage to mess up a lot. I mean look at your track record with the men in your life."  
  
Buffy was frozen in the spot with her words. This was her one insecurity above all else.  
  
"Your dad couldn't stand to be with you so he left. The first man you slept with became evil maniac and tried to kill us all. Even when Angel got his soul back he left because of you. Then you couldn't satisfy Riley so he bolted. Hell even Giles didn't want to deal with you. "  
  
At this Giles tried to intervene, but found he couldn't move or speak. Willow was zeroing on Buffy, and it seemed his slayer was standing defiant, but he knew it was hurting her. The fact it was her friend saying this or the words themselves, he didn't know.  
  
Her stomach was in knots. She tried to tell herself that Willow was just trying to hurt her, which in itself she thought would never happen, but inside she felt as if a pin pricked her heart with each word.   
  
"Funniest thing is, the one thing that stuck with you through almost all of it, was a vampire who hated you in the beginning. Whether trying to kill you or hopelessly in love with you. He was there. But I see he finally split because of you."  
  
Buffy cringed.  
  
"But he has a surprise for you. Something I think you should be proud of being the cause."  
  
Willows hand shot forth and the roof seemed to tear like paper. She had opened a portal but to where? A form dropped through, a man, smacking into the ground with a sickening thud. *Not him, please not him* . She didn't move to protect him. She just stared at the wayward witch who had a smile that sent shivers down Gile's spine.  
  
Buffy finally tore her gaze from that cruel pale face and set it on another. He was face up and looked to be unconscious. It wasn't until she got a good look at him that she stepped away in horror. Spike to say it kindly, was a mess. He was burned horribly in different spots, looks like he had been ina huge fight, bruises where everywhere. Some weird, what she would call, insect bites covered his body. And finally a charred hand print in the middle of his chest.  
  
"Wakey, wakey"  
  
Willows eerily cheery voice brings her out of the trance she was in. Though the words weren't meant for her. Spikes eyes snapped open and sat up suddenly. She could tell from the gasp of pain that the movement had irritated his wounds. He actually didn't seem to realize the state of his body. He looked up at buffy with the most innocent face she had seen on him.   
  
"Where am I?"  
  
She definitely didn't recognize the voice. It was raspy, yes, but the brogue accent he once had was clipped and sounded more like Giles. Spike then took in his surroundings, and for a brief moment she thought he looked frightened. But this was Spike, a very beaten and bloodied Spike, but the same vampire she had know for years. Right?   
  
"Spike…"  
  
Buffy's voice was a whisper. But he reacted like she had screamed at him. Snapping his head in her direction. He seemed confused for a moment then it looked like a wave crashed down on him. His eyes filled and overflowed with tears and started to sob in earnest. Buffy's mind reeled, she had never seen spike cry. *he almost looks like…* The shock rolled through her with the realization.   
  
"So what do you think? I mean he's by far the strongest of all the men in your life. Then he fell in love with you. Now look at him. Bleeding, broken, and sobbing like a little baby. Bravo Buffy."  
  
The words almost didn't penetrate her mind, but the clapping did. Her eyes shot to the figure that she once considered her best friend. Willow's face almost cracked from the smile on her face. Her eyes soon moved from Buffy's face to the sobbing form."  
  
"Spike."  
  
Her tone was kind and motherly, but her malicious intent was betrayed by her eyes. Surprisingly this brought his attention to her. She waved.  
  
"Bye"  
  
Willows words didn't give Buffy time to react before fire and lightning shot from her hand swallowing him. The fire burned around him and allowed him a single scream of pain before the fire disappeared with him.  
  
Buffy tried to lung for him, but found she couldn't move. He was gone, and she had killed him. The tears welled up and she barely held in her scream.  
  
"Don't look so sad, he isn't dead. I though you gave me more credit than that."  
  
The calms and cruel smoothness of the witches voice angered Buffy to no end. It showed in her voice.  
  
"What did you do to him?  
  
"Put him somewhere where he could ruminate and ponder without you being pesky and saving him. I don't think you'll be seeing him anytime soon. There are no actual portals to the place where I sent him. Course I don't think he'll be coherent enough to recognize you even if you were there.   
  
Tears started to slide down Buffy's cheeks. He had a soul, and he was alone. It hurt as much as putting a sword through angel. She noticed Willow sway a bit which brought her hand to her head. Her eyes had returned to normal but still retained their cruelty when they fell on Giles.   
  
"Takes a lot out of you all this portal creating. Course I have Giles here to freshen me up."  
  
It looked as if Her and Giles feet weren't the only one glued to the floor. Willow couldn't move. She looked down in confusion. Waved her hands at her feet trying to magic them, but found she couldn't. The witch looked at her hands for a moment then whipped around, searching the room.  
  
"Alright which of you lame ass scoobies is blocking my magic!"  
  
The anger and confusion was evident in Willow's voice. The answer she got, no one had expected.  
  
"Ya know, I've been waiting for so long to be considered a scoobie."  
  
Everyone's head whipped to the door of the magic box. Standing there, leaning causally against the cracked door frame was Spike. 


	2. Judgement

Title: The shell without Humanity  
Rating:PG-13  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
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Relief flushed through Buffy, he was here, he wasn't in some horrible dimension alone. Giles felt a little twinge of relief but was wary.   
  
It took a moment for the two to see the difference in appearance of the vampire. His hair was no longer peroxide blonde but honey brown and hung in greasy strands down to his shoulders. He was covered in dirt and mud, but she could still see he had fading scars all over his face, neck, chest and arms. He had always been pale, but now even more so, and you could almost see his black veins through the skin. His posture was relaxed but for some reason conveyed a menacing presence. His voice was deeper, and for reason she thought darker. No longer the clipped British she had heard earlier. His face was emotionless, and his eyes made no attempt at contact, they just bore into the stunned witch behind them. A weak voice brought Willow back to their attention.  
  
"how…"  
  
"You should really learn more about the spells you do." He began slowly walking toward them. He paused a moment as if pondering over his statement.  
  
"Actually you need to learn a lot more about dimensions. You knew Balthrass had no active portals to it. But you seemed to skip over a few sections. Fortunately I learned a few new things in my stay."  
  
His voice was cold and terrifying. Giles knew Spike, this obviously wasn't him. Buffy was just plain confused and a little frightened.  
  
Willow most of all was speechless.  
  
"You know you should really see someone about the veins, not very appealing if I might say. Course I'm not much to look at either."  
  
While he passed the frozen two, he ran his hands over his face, down his neck and chest. The mud melted off him and disappeared. His hair shortened while his black coat and t-shirt appeared on his shoulders. He almost looked normal to the stunned watcher and slayer. Except his hair was jet black and the fact his eyes were completely black. Not like willows. Complete and utterly black. Not even a shine off the eyeball. Spike continued walking toward the now frightened Wicca, shrugging his shoulders like a weight had been lifted. He stopped a couple feet away from her.  
  
"That's better"   
  
His hand suddenly shot forth, fingers spread wide hitting her chest. They could see the black magic being sucked out of her as they struggled against the spell that held them. Willow screamed in pain as the blackness leaked out of her hair and face and pulsed into his hand. When it was done she was whimpering, he stepped away to assess the damage.   
  
"I finally figured out what Angelus meant, pain being a art."  
  
Lifting his right hand, underside up. Buffy stared in fear as his left hand was brought into view with a menacing sharp thumbnail within striking distance. She thought her eyes were playing with her when he cut his palm, and instead of blood, a inky smoke arose. But before she could confirm he closed his hand.   
  
"Believe me, this is going to be beautiful."  
  
He opened it up again and a pitch black marble floated a inch off his had. Quicker than there eyes could follow the hand with the marble was in willows. Her eyes opened wide. The most pained and frightened look Buffy had ever seen before on her face. Tears fells down her face as she struggled to get away. But he held fast, a smile crossed his lips as she screamed.  
  
They both struggled against the bonds. Giles mind had reverted down to the fatherly status as someone was hurting his wayward child. Willow collapsed on her knees, her sobs becoming too much for her to stand. He finally released her when she was unconscious. She fell in a heap. The both stopped their struggle, seeing him look around. He seemed to take in the place as if he had been gone and returned to simply ruminate over the past.   
  
"Spike."  
  
Her voice was small but it was enough to catch his attention. He looked at them both expecting them to move. Giles could tell when it dawned on him.  
  
"Oh sorry."  
  
With a nonchalant wave of his hand they were free and he returned his once over with the shop. Giles rushed over to willow to check her over. Buffy followed but slowed and stopped behind Spike. There was something wrong. Something coming from him that was off. Usually she could feel the energy coming off him in shocks. But now there was a black void that felt like it was pulling at her.   
  
Giles was looking over Willow. What scared him was the half closed eyes that stared into nothing. He had seen this with Buffy after Glory kidnapped Dawn. And it took a lot to get her out. He still had the powers that the coven had bestowed on him. But that would have to wait for a more stable situation. He noticed her hand was twitching. Looking closer he noticed she was clutching the black marble. He was about to take it when a cold voice stopped him.  
  
"Wouldn't pick that up if I were you. Unless you want to end up like her."  
  
His head went in the direction of the emotionless voice above him.  
  
Spike was still looking around. Lost in thought. Giles anger rose despite his early wariness.  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
Spike just looked at him with his icy blue eyes.  
  
"I made her see. See everything, feel everything. Believe me I didn't need to do more."  
  
Before either Giles or Buffy could question Anya chose to stumble out from the training room. She looked at the people before her for a moment then looked around with a pained expression.  
  
"My shop!"  
  
Spikes chuckling brought her attention to him, she seemed to stare into him for a moment. Then a look of fear came across her face, and became wary in her movements. Buffy became alarmed because she had never seen the demon that afraid. He seemed to notice this also and was quick but not desperate to relax her.  
  
"Don't worry pet, not here to hurt you. Sorry about the shop."  
  
It seemed to relax her and she nodded. Not worrying anymore about danger she began to look for things to salvage. But Buffy was still eyeing Spike, trying to figure the next move. His, now blue, eyes met hers and as if reading her mind spoke.  
  
"Oh get off it slayer, I've been here for a minute and your already thinking I'm going to slaughter everyone."  
  
She lapsed into her old annoyed fashion.  
  
"What do you expect spike. You appear out of nowhere coming from god knows where and turn uber-Willow into a trembling infant and expect me to be all "welcome back"!"  
  
"Actually I don't really expect much from you at all"   
  
His voice was calm and content like the stinging barb he just threw was a daily occurrence.   
  
Giles moved to get up ready to counter, but forgot about the injuries inflicted on him. He began to loose his balance when without even moving his eyes from Buffy's Spikes hand shot out and gripped the watcher's arm. Buffy surged forward to rip his hand off when Giles face calmed and stood up straight, his cuts and bruises disappearing. Spike had healed him. He released his grip and fixed them with a icy glare.  
  
"If I want you dead, I'll make it slow." They both stepped back from him. It was a threat that they both knew he would carry out.  
  
It seemed to be enough for him because he them made way to what was left of the door. They hadn't noticed the sun had risen. Buffy was too stunned to notice. Anya's voice filtered in matter a factly  
  
"Spike, the sun."  
  
He stopped right at the entrance, and slowly stepped into the bright light. Realization washed through all of them as he turned the face the three stunned people. They all noticed that his eyes were back into being complete voids. His voice was the same though. He also wore a smile that even chilled the vengeance demon's blood. He noticed this.  
  
"Oh Anya before I go." His hand suddenly gripped the door frame and Black flame engulfed the room. 


	3. Getting the Unexpected

Title: The shell without Humanity  
Rating:PG-13  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
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First thing Buffy notice was that there was no heat. Except for the body draped over her at the moment. She figured Giles had thrown himself on her to keep her safe from the flames. At least that's what she hoped he did. Anything other than that boarder lined on creepy. Giles noticed that they were not burning, then the position they were in and quickly stood up. Automatically going to clean his glasses which weren't on his head. Buffy got up to dust off her pants of debris, but found none. That was strange considering the state the shop was in.   
  
That's when they both noticed the state of the shop. It was new, nothing was misplaced or damaged. Everything was there and untouched as if nothing had happened. The only thing out of place was the catatonic witch on the floor and the bewildered Anya excitedly looking around.   
  
She was twirling happily examining every corner as if to check that everything was there. Her eyes landed on the vampire in the doorway. In an instant she was hugging him tightly. Spike seem to hesitate for a moment, as if this was something he had never done before, but then wrapped his arms around her giving her a good hug before releasing her and stepping back. She just looked at him and smiled.  
  
"Thanks Spike."  
  
That brought a smile to the vampires face. But it seemed shadowed, or hollow. Just a reaction no true feeling to it. Buffy suddenly knew what her smile for the last year looked like. When his gaze turned to her the smiled faded and all that was left was the icy blue eyes that said nothing, and everything. With that he left, strolling across the street with the sun on his back.  
  
Anya turned to face a few shocked faces. But before anything could be said Anya's gaze shifted from them to something behind them. Their focus turned to the redhead lying on the floor. They stood for a moment, trying to decide what to do. What should they do with someone they loved but had betrayed them, further more tried to kill them all.   
  
Buffy was at a loss. Around her heart she had a wall which she let a few through. Willow had been pushed out when the threat had reached her sister. But Spike had done something to her. Now she was in a catatonic state. Buffy had been at one point, so she reasoned she owed the redhead. Making her decision she turned to Giles. He had obviously come to something of a similar solution and was looking for hers.   
  
They both moved to pick her up. Taking Willow into the back room and laying her down. Buffy noticed what Giles had earlier. The witches arm was twitching still and clutched the black marble she had seen form in the vampires hand.   
  
She went down to pick it up when Giles surprisingly strong hand caught hers.   
  
"Buffy I don't know if Spike was telling the truth but I don't think anyone should touch that."  
  
She looked at him then back to the seemingly harmless marble. Trying to think of something she grabbed a dusting cloth that rested on the table. Giles was about to protest when she went back to pick it up.  
  
"Giles we have to get that away from Willow."  
  
Giles agreed but still didn't know what boundaries the magic in that marble had. Problem was the authority on magic was currently unconscious.   
  
"Alright. But let me do it, I'll be able to counteract the magic better than you can because of the powers the coven imbued on me."  
  
She was hesitant, not wanting to risk someone else. But in the end nodded and handed him the rag. They both held their breath as he picked the marble out of the hand of the witch. When nothing happened to Giles they both breathed easily. The twitching had stopped in the witches hand. Her eyes also completely closed. But the grimace of pain stayed so it looked more like a fitful sleep than anything else. They both jumped when they heard a squeal behind them. Turning to see Anya behind the register dancing her capitalist dance. She opened her eyes to catch them staring at her dumbly. She stopped for a moment obviously pissed at their attention.  
  
"What? Can't I be happy my money is still here. Without it I'd go broke."   
  
They still stared at her for a moment. She looked as if she was going to resume her dance when she shouted.  
  
"OH jeez the stock. I've got to check. I hope he replaced those too!"  
  
With that she ran down to the basement. Buffy and Giles just looked at each other for a moment and soundlessly laughed at the absurdity of it. With that they moved apart to their own tasks. Finding a jar, Giles dropped the Marble in carefully to examine it better. The marble was swirling with dark magic. No light escaped it. And even the shine seemed to dull because of it. This thing was made by a very dark magic. And the fact Spike possessed it didn't ease the wariness.   
  
Turning his attention back to his slayer. Buffy was silently staring at willow, kneeling beside her, absently straightening her limbs to make her more comfortable. When the job was done she leaned back and closed her eyes. He could almost see the tear creeping down her cheek. Hating the fact he had to do this he walked next to her and gently touched her shoulder. When she looked up at him his heart almost broke.  
  
"Buffy we have to figure out what happened to Spike."  
  
Whatever crack in her heart that was already there got wider at the mention of his name. He was so different. No emotion to him and none of the love she once saw in his face when he looked at her. What scared her more was the fact she believed his threats. She did believe that if he wants them dead, it will be slow and painful. For the first time in all of her existence she wished she had the old Spike back.   
  
"Giles, what did Willow do?"  
  
He seemed to think over it for a bit.  
  
"Well, it seems she sent him to another dimension. Spike said the word Balthrass I don't know if that's where…"  
  
"Why would anyone want to go to Balthrass?"  
  
They both jumped at Anya's voice. Both looked at her as she absentmindedly fingered a strange unknown artifact. Giles spoke first.  
  
"We don't want to go there. We believe that's where Willow sent Spike."  
  
That caught her attention. 


	4. Burning friendships

Title: The shell without Humanity  
Rating:PG-13  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
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There had been silence between them for over an hour. The four of them had broken into the crypt in an attempt to hide from a friend gone psycho. It seems that is a running theme. People going psycho and trying to kill all their friends. Not of the good. Xander and Dawn had kept there perspective distance. Dawn still not believing what Xander had said. But the doubt had been chewing at her mind all night. It was only dominated by the fear of those black eyes showing up.  
  
Jonathon and what's his name were still bickering every now and then. But for the most part they remained quiet. Xander was quick to tell them to shut up. He himself was on edges, his pacing was making her dizzy. Finally she couldn't take it.  
  
"Xander stop it already. Jeez making me dizzy."  
  
Xander automatically rose up to the challenge in her voice.  
  
" Well I'm sorry if my worrying about my friends makes me a bit nervous and I can't sit down. I guess your too busy thinking of your rapist-wannabe best friend!"  
  
He didn't know what hit him. All he knew was his cheek stung and he had a angry, teary eyed teenager in front of him. Giving him a glare that could stop a rhino cold in it's tracks. Her voice shook as she spoke, barely containing her rage.  
  
"How can you say that. That I don't care. That I don't care someone is trying to kill my sister. That someone I considered my friend is trying to kill everyone I love. That I don't care Tara died. How dare you say I don't care!"  
  
She was crying now. Tears streaming down her face. Xander stood there for a second shocked at her and at himself. Snapping out of it he slowly wrapped his arms around her. She didn't pull away, instead she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed it all out. All the emotions that had built up. Tara dying. Buffy getting shot. Willow trying to kill her. Spikes betrayal. All the while Xander was murmuring to her.  
  
"Oh god dawnie I'm sorry. Sorry. It's going to be alright..."  
  
Jonathon and Andrew just watched the whole scene play out. Andrews eyes started to tear up. They looked at each other and Andrew rushed him clinging to Jonathon weeping uncontrollably. Jonathon was rigid, looking like he wanted Willow to find him and end his misery.  
  
Dawn and Xander turned to observe the scene and started chuckling weakly. Dawn sniffed and rested her head on his chest. Xander saw his opportunity.   
  
"I'm sorry dawn. It's just I'm scared and angry. Hope you can forgive me and my big male emotional stupidity."  
  
Dawn smiled against his chest and hiccupped a laugh.  
  
"That's you cave man Xand. If you want you can punch Jonathon, nice male show of emotion."  
  
Jonathon grew pale as he tried to pry himself from the still weeping Andrew. It was Xanders turn to smile. He was about to respond when they all heard a singing coming from outside. It sounded like someone was walking towards them. Xander put Dawn behind him and shushed the whimpering nerds in the corner. The singing became clearer. The voice recognized by everyone.  
  
"No you'll never make a saint out of me...yeah yeah..."  
  
Dawn immediately went to the crypt door and peaked out. Xander was right behind while the Duo sat back still shaking in fear. At first she didn't recognize the vampire. His trade mark peroxide blond was replaced with jet black. But her eyes caught the blue eyes and duster, the recognition kicked in. Without thinking or registering the fact he was walking in the sunlight she ran out with Xander and the Duo in tow. Xander immediately noticed the vampire under the sun. He also noticed the similarities between uberwillow and Spikes new appearance. Instantly he knew this was dangerous.  
  
"Dawn stop!"  
  
Dawn didn't hear him, she just kept running, seeing red. Spike stopped at Xanders voice just as Dawn reached him with a right hook in full swing. Before her fist could make contact a hand caught it faster than the eye could register. Dawns rage unhampered struggled for a bit, but his hold was firm. Before his head turned to her she registered his touch being colder than it had ever been before.  
  
"Hey bit."  
  
The only thing that chilled her more than the emotionless voice was the icy stare landed on her. But it wasn't too long before she was brought out of her thoughts by Xanders voice.  
  
"Let go of her Spike!"  
  
His gaze changed from her to Xanders defiant glare and simply let go. Dawn stumbled back a bit from the struggle and fixed him with the angriest glare Xander had ever seen her wear. He also notice Spike didn't even flinch. Just calmly looked at all of them as if expecting them to just start talking about the whether. Finally Dawn broke the silence.  
  
"Is it true?"  
  
His attention was now focused on her. Something insider her flinched. For some reason she suddenly wanted to run away. This wasn't her Spike. This was something else. But she pushed these things down and continued.  
  
"Did you? Did you try and do that to her?"  
  
Spike looked her dead on. No malice, anger, hatred, guilt at all. Just simply said.  
  
"Yes."  
  
This time Spike didn't try and stop her as her hand came down across his cheek. He didn't move a muscle as she stared at him. First in rage. Then searching to see if any emotion came to the surface. When none did she got angry again.  
  
"Don't come around anymore. I don't want you anywhere near my friends ever! hear me!"  
  
She was screaming by the end and just stood there glaring at him. Daring him to challenge her. And further down searching for the pain she knew would hurt the Spike she knew. But nothing. Not even a tick or twitch. He just stood there. Shocking her even more was when he smiled. Cold and uncaring filled his face as the grin spread. He started to chuckle which grew into a laugh. It infuriated Xander to no end.  
  
"You smug son of a..."  
  
Like with Dawn he caught the fist. But unlike Dawn, Spike started squeezing. His smile staying in place as he heard a knuckle pop out of place. Xander started to wince and cry out. Dawn stood to the side dumbstruck. Realizing the chip was gone or malfunctioning. Before she could react Spike slammed his fist into Xanders face then kneed him in the head toppling him to the ground. Dawn immediately went to Xander helping him sit up. Turning her gaze to the vampire before her she was startled to see his eyes become two black voids and the fact he was standing in sunlight. He still wore the creepy grin on his face.  
  
"You might wanna find your sister. She'll be expecting you soon."  
  
With that he turned and headed in the direction of his crypt resuming his song. With those words a chill traveled up her spine. He had seen Buffy today. Fear stabbed at her when she realized the possibility her sister could be dying. Xander felt the same thing and they scrambled to get back to the magic box.  
  
Jonathon and Andrew watched as the two left. They looked at each other.   
  
"Mexico?"  
  
Jonathon nodded in agreement. With that they both ran to hit the boarder  
  
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A/N:I'm putting this story on hold. Got another brewing that might take up some time.   
But don't be afraid to review.   
Review good.  
Review our friend. 


	5. Lions den

Title: The shell without Humanity  
Rating:PG-13  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
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Her footsteps on the soft grass almost echoed across the empty cemetery. Course she was stomping because the cemetery was empty.   
  
It had been five days after the "incident" as the remaining few scoobies called what happened. It had been too much to take in. One of the founding group members of the gang had gone mad with power, and tried to kill everyone.   
  
It was official, this was a mess. And things hadn't really changed five days after the fact. Little progress had been made. Willow had woken up screaming from nightmares. Of what they didn't know. When she wasn't having nightmares she was either crying or staring blankly at the wall. Xander had stood by her side all along. Though she often shied away from anyone's touch.   
  
They still hadn't figured out what he did to her. The creepy black marble from hell hadn't left any clues. After hours of researching, on the adamant urgings of Xander, they had discovered it was a simple container for past events, emotions, or experiences. So whenever you touched it, it would release it, and you would get everything in it. Buffy leapt a whole eight feet when she saw Dawn try to touch it. The slayer remembered the look on Willows face when he slammed it into her hand. It was scorched into her memory.   
  
She felt bad for her sister, after everything that had happened it was a wonder that things hadn't gone worse. Dawn had been frantic when She and a slightly battered Xander stumbled through the magically repaired door. Apparently they had caught him on his way back to his crypt, and from what she had gathered, blows were dealt ending with Xander bleeding and a concussion. It had taken a lot of restraint not to renew the flow after the slayer learned that her dear friend had decided to impart some knowledge to her sister about the incident in the bathroom. Course she had parried Dawns questioning with "this is not the time, we'll talk about it later" For some reason this sounded a bit familiar. Like she'd said these words a thousand times before.   
  
'Denial Buffy' that's her.   
  
Course she wanted the whole mess she labeled "Relationship with Spike" to disappear. But with the recent events it looked like that file was about to spill out to have it's contents picked apart and analyzed by everyone.   
  
Anya had been helpful, sort of. They knew that technically Balthrass is a dimension created by a very old demon specializing in torture. That there is only incoming, no outgoing traffic, and that it has the fastest time distortion around. This brought up memories of when she was going through the whole "anne" thing and the dimension who's time moved faster, that was years in weeks.  
  
Her heart clenched each time she thought of him stuck in that place for who knows how long.   
  
Shaking her head to rid her of 'Spike' thoughts she noticed that she had slowed into a casual walk. Instantly she sped up.   
  
They had moved Willow into Xanders place since he was sporting some freed up space. Giles had started researching 'Balthrass' trying to find out what he can. Dawn had returned to school. That was after a huge fight-n-cry between the sisters.   
  
Dawn had gotten the determination to keep asking about what had happened between the slayer and the vampire. She had worn Buffy until she cracked, that then lead to a huge fight which lead to tears, then some hugging. Then somehow a agreement that Dawn was to start to train and patrol. It had been going smoothly except for the fact patrol was dead, excuse the pun.   
  
There wasn't anything she could slay within a ten mile radius, she had checked. For four nights there hadn't been a single vamp or demon. By the fourth night she had gone to Willies to figure out what was going on. It had taken a few punches for her to learn that apparently it was a combination of powerful demons and warlocks disappearing and a huge dark energy arriving. So dark and ominous that all of the dark seedy underbelly of Sunnydale was slithering away as quickly as it could.   
  
As much as she wanted to, Buffy couldn't write it off as coincidence. Spike hadn't shown a single hair of his bleach blonde head since his little love tap with Xander. Course they weren't exactly looking for him either.   
  
Giles and Xander had convinced her not to go out looking for him. With there numbers depleted and in disarray it didn't look good for a confrontation. But with progress at a standstill she decided to confront, avoiding was never really her strong suit.   
  
That explains why she's there at the moment. Stomping through the cemetery. Eyes fixed on the door of the crypt she has visited many times. The inhabitant being the subject of her mind. Walking straight up she paused. She didn't really know what to expect, the Spike she knew and had, dare she say it, feelings for, was gone. After years possibly decades in one of the worst places in existence, he had returned with power that outmatched the most powerful witch in the western hemisphere and the ability to turn that witch into a sobbing mess.   
  
What could she expect. He had made it perfectly clear that if he wanted them dead he had the power to do so with ease. She suddenly felt like she was at the mouth of a lions den. Enter and possibly be devoured. Course that could have many different meanings considering their history with each other.   
  
Shaking the wildly inappropriate naughty thoughts and memories that sprung to mind she returned to staring intently at the door. Should she knock or kick it in? Not sure what to do she shrugged and kicked in the door. Why break tradition. Calling on as much Slayer strength and confidence she could muster Buffy entered.  
  
++++  
  
A/N: There will probably be another chapter before a long delay.  
  
Or I could write the whole thing in a week.  
  
You don't know! BWAH AH AH AH AH!  
  
Please review. 


	6. Instructions

Title: The shell without Humanity  
Rating:PG-13  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
++++  
  
There was nothing. No furniture, no candles. Nothing that could testify he had been here. For some reason her heart twitched at the site. It was almost like he had been erased. When she entered she had expected to find him lounging in his chairs like so many times before. It almost made her do a double take when she found nothing.   
  
Course she had came with the purpose of confronting Spike, but it had been so familiar coming into his crypt that it was a shock to have it disrupted. She frowned when she realized she had hoped to see him. Talk about weird. So engrossed in her revelry that the slayer almost didn't catch the faint humming coming down from below.   
  
She caught herself and stopped from smiling. But she was somewhat relieved when it was obvious he hadn't left again. Shaking her head didn't seem to shake the odd thoughts that ran through her mind.   
  
Realizing that she had been standing there for about a minute Buffy strode over to the hatch and climbed down. She caught a whiff of something burning. She hadn't ever smelt anything like it before. And that was saying something considered her dealings with fire and explosions.   
  
Like upstairs it was empty, but well lit. Candles were everywhere. Her eyes widened when she caught sight of Spike. Or who she thought was Spike. His back was to her, but she could see obvious changes. He was standing there humming wearing only a pair of black jeans. Scars crisscrossed his back. His hair had returned to its earlier length but was still pitch black. The scars continued down his arms.   
  
She had seen them before, but at the time he had been covered in mud and dirt, also she had been a bit distracted what with her friend trying to kill them. But now she saw them in all there horrifying clarity.   
  
Some she could tell were made from a knife and a whip, others were burns. But a few looked like they were made by finger nails. Her eyes traveled along his arms to his hands. Buffy took a step back once she saw what his hands were occupied in doing. His fingers were covered in a black liquid, she didn't know what, and it seemed with it he was burning a huge mural into the cave wall.   
  
The mural itself was huge, spanning the length of the room. Intricately detailed but formed a spiral which he was working on in the middle. In the middle there was a pentagram with a half finished goat head in the center. She could hear the faint sizzle as the liquid burnt into the stone.   
  
She kept stepping back until her foot hit something. Looking down she saw a newly deceased Amy sitting against the wall. Her eyes wide with terror frozen. Buffy couldn't see any marks on her other than the black paint on her forehead, and if she looked closely she could see that the stuff had also burned into the witches skin. Catching something in the corner of her eye Buffy turned her head to see a very ugly demon in some weird robes. The same markings on his head as Amy. The slayer could only label the expression on the demon as one of terror. Buffy rotated fully to notice there were a total of twelve dead bodies in the crypt. Some human, some demon. All with the same markings and facial expressions.   
  
Her eyes led her around the room till they fell back on Spike. He hadn't apparently noticed her, and she wanted to keep it that way, thinking that maybe she shouldn't be there at this time. Maybe the others could help.   
  
Course that was the moment that he apparently finished the mural and turned.   
  
Her body tensed ready to fend off the humming vampire. But he did not let on if he noticed her. Something was off. Her eyes searched his for any hints. But found none, probably because he had no eyes. The slayers hardened face melted into one of horror. From the looks of the scars around his face he had clawed out his own eyes.   
  
The view scanned down his torso. It was worse than his back. It had the same amount of knife, whip, and burn scars as his back. But it stood to reason that his hands couldn't reach behind him as easily and his front.   
  
Tracks of five ran down his chest both ways crossing in some horrible X on his heart. His throat seemed to be one huge scar. Stuck in a trance by the horrible site before she didn't notice he had stopped humming. But she did notice that he had gone across from her. What was a bit more disturbing was that the black liquid was coming from a cut on his other hand. Bending down to place a dagger in a box his voice startled her.   
  
"You know slayer it's not nice to barge into someone else's home. Should learn to knock."   
  
His tone was flat. But his voice was a bit rougher than what it had been. His tone did nothing to snap her out of her trance.   
  
"Spike, what…"   
  
She couldn't finish. Her voice was a whisper. He turned to face her. He looked at her for a moment, which was odd considering he had no eyes. Instantly he morphed into the image he had left back at the shop. His tone was a tinged with malicious teasing.   
  
"Don't worry that little head of yours, little glamour covers everything up. You know all about that. Covering up what's really there. Can't really blame you though. If I were them and I saw what my friends were hiding. I don't think I would handle it well either."   
  
That certainly snapped her out of it. Her horror turned to anger. It was easier to be angry at Spike when he wasn't covered in scars that testified to years of torture.   
  
"Really mister "I'm hiding demon eggs as a part of a evil smuggling ring" I don't think your allowed to judge me!"   
  
The bastard had the gall to start laughing. His face was the picture of warmth, but she could see the coldness that lied beneath.   
  
"Not judging, just digging."   
  
She hadn't notice that she had stomped up to face him. He was circling her now. Following him with her eyes lead her to catch something on the floor. It was covered in markings similar to the ones on the wall. In the center of a spiral directly in front of the pentagram on the wall. The center circle was lined with a weird writing. It seemed that each body sitting against the wall was circled and connected to the center. Fortunately Buffy wasn't standing in the center, so she wasn't totally panicking, but pretty close. He continued to speak.   
  
"Digging, revealing all the things you bury. All those dirty little secrets and feelings. I almost can't stop laughing at all the stuff that you have buried involving Spike."   
  
She felt his words start to crack the shell. But she held fast.   
  
"Your not Spike."   
  
It was a statement more than a question. That made him chuckle.   
  
"What you thought I was? Did you think a thousand years in one of the worst hell dimensions would leave Spike intact or resembling anything of his old self?"   
  
That caught her attention. A thousand years. He had to be exaggerating . She hoped he was exaggerating.   
  
"No I'm what's left of Spike."   
  
He grinned at her pained expression.   
  
"What's left after every inch of his body and mind was violated and ripped apart. After feeling his humanity slowly being torn away. I'm what's left. The shell. Not even the demon is in here. Just what's left of the mind."   
  
His grin faded when her face changed into one of puzzlement. Something was nibbling in the back of her mind. The demon wasn't there. The soul? Buffy didn't realize she had said it out loud until she saw his pensive expression.   
  
"You know I don't really know what happened to the poet. Course can't really remember half of it what with me being insane most of the time and all."   
  
Feeling drained and a little defeated Buffy sighed.   
  
"So what now, going to destroy the world and everybody."   
  
He smirked at her guts.   
  
"Nah, kinda like it here, beats a hell dimension."   
  
That brought a little laugh out of her. But she remembered what she was standing on.   
  
"Then what's with the ominous ritualing and Satan mural?"   
  
It brought a scowl down on his face. He began moving to the center circle on the floor. Once in the middle he looked back at her. For the first time since he appeared, his face held some emotion that made him look like the Spike she knew.   
  
"I have instructions."   
  
With that his hand shot out, black fire enveloped her.   
  
++++  
  
A/N: Well here is the other chapter I promised. Depending on whether or not my life allows I will try and continue to write more chapters.  
  
But there will probably be another long wait.   
  
Please review if you read my story, I'd like some proof that people might read this. Pretty please? 


	7. The love you see

Title: The shell without Humanity  
Rating:PG-13  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
++++  
  
Dark, dark everywhere, can't see. It burns. I can feel it, on my skin, crawling, slithering, everywhere, in me, on me. I can feel it slowly feeding, maggots. It burns. Oh God it BURNS!   
  
Her eyes shot open. Muscles in her stomach contracting she bolted upright. She didn't even realize she was screaming till it reached her own ears. Her scream died into a sob as the tears slid down her cheeks.   
  
Red hair swished as she frantically checked to see there was no darkness. Nothing other than clothes was on her skin. She was sitting in bed, in a room.   
  
Coherence seeped into her foggy mind. She realized that she was in Xander's bedroom. Idly she wondered why she was in there. As soon as the question was asked it was answered with blinding clarity.   
  
The memories that came made her body start to shake as the tears came on in force. Not able to stand it she buried her face into the warm pillow, hoping against hope that maybe it would bury the feelings, memories and pain. Her sobs soon died down. Turning her head she stared blankly at the wall.   
  
Silence filled the room.   
  
But the thoughts in her head screamed. Inside she had given up, let the memories scream, their voices would fill her and shut her down.   
  
Though the screams were loud she knew of the world around her, which only reached to the walls of the room. She could hear the door open or the clock tick. She could see the sunlight or moonlight.   
  
But her body stayed still. Because she feared that if she moved anything there would be pain on the outside as well as in.   
  
She acted like she didn't feel the bed shift when he sat opposite to her, which was odd because she didn't hear the door open. She had her back to him. But she could almost tell that he was sitting against the headboard. She didn't care who it was, she was lost in her own pain. She kept as still as possible, people usually went away if you stayed still long enough.   
  
Her body tensed as she felt his hand come near her head. It was worse when they tried to comfort through touch.   
  
It just reminded her of what she had done. Her muscles seized as the hand began to stroke her hair.   
  
But nothing happened.   
  
Slowly a tune broke through the walls, whoever he was, he was humming. The tune seemed to bring memories and feelings that had no relation. All were of her. Some smiling, some just doing regular things. But all were of her. And with each image was a deep love. All different. Deeper, intense, lazy, all of it different.   
  
Then a memory popped up she recognized. It had been a conversation between her and Buffy in college. Instead she was looking at herself, instead of the slayer.   
  
That's when Willow realized, she was seeing there memories of her. The love that followed made her smile and new tears traced down her face.   
  
The memories played out all from different points of view with different kinds of love. Xander, Giles, Buffy, Dawn, Tara, even Spike and Anya had some kind of affinity for her.   
  
They all loved her. What broke her down was when the love was felt even when she was trying to kill them. She saw herself determined to kill Buffy, and all the slayer felt was love and sorrow.   
  
It was too much.   
  
Turning to the person behind her she buried her head in his chest and sobbed no longer tears of guilt or sadness, but relief. They loved her still.   
  
The memories and feelings slowly faded. Now all she felt were the hands stroking her hair, and circling her back. The witch sniffled and relaxed. Letting the hands slowly calm her heart.   
  
Figuring now was a good time to speak to Xander she looked up into blue eyes.   
  
"Hey red."   
  
Shooting out of his arms and out of the bed. The sheets tangled in her legs causing her to trip and land on her butt. That didn't stop her from kicking them off and scooting frantically into the corner.   
  
He didn't move from the spot. In fact all he did was put his hands behind his head. But Willow didn't dare uncurl herself. Her eyes darted to each of the corners watching for the darkness to start seeping in.   
  
But nothing happened.   
  
Finally her eyes settled on him. Quickly she took in his appearance. Gone was his duster and black clothes. In there place was a white t-shirt and matching slacks. He seemed to radiate warmth.   
  
"You done?"   
  
His voice startled her, and her eyes traveled to his face.   
  
Instead of the bleach blonde or deep Black. His hair was golden brown. It was the same length as she usually saw it but wasn't gelled back allowing it to curl. She also took in the fact he had a tan and no scar cutting his eyebrow. The air around him lacked the danger that usually inhabited it, instead there was a warmth that radiated from him.   
  
Relaxing her tense muscles she decided to take a chance.   
  
"Spike?"   
  
She was surprised at how scratchy her voice was course she only used it for screaming. His laugh instead of making her cringe it actually warmed her.   
  
"No pet."   
  
She flinched a bit, thinking that maybe it could be a hallucination.   
  
"Can't really consider me Spike. Spike is a demon, I'm just his soul."   
  
Her brows knitted together in confusion.   
  
"But I-I saw you before. You were all black and demony. Not a real good sign of having a soul."   
  
He took his hands from behind his head and swung his legs over the side of the bed. His grin faded, but he didn't loose the warm look on his face.   
  
"Well there are three things to know about that. One I'm not in our body, two neither is Spike."   
  
He had stood up while speaking and made his way toward her. Slowly stepping with each word. When he was a foot away from her he paused and kneeled down. Looking directly in her eyes. Confused on how he could be in front of her She asked.   
  
"Then wh..."   
  
"I'm in you."   
  
When he said it her eyes went wide. She began to sputter.   
  
"But y-you can't be in me, I have a soul. I know I went all demony. But I still, don't I?"   
  
Her eyes began to tear up, thoughts raced through her head, fearing that maybe she had lost her soul when she killed Warren. Seeing this he was quick to comfort, but never lost the glow in his face.   
  
"You still have your soul."   
  
The tears fell down her cheeks and her head fell into her hands not wanting him to see. Even if this wasn't Spike she didn't want to show weakness. Which is a bit odd cause she just got done sobbing into his chest.  
  
"Then why?"   
  
He took her shoulders in his hands making her look up at him.   
  
"Because something big is going to happen. And they are going to need you. I'm here because you were lost, and they will need you soon. If you don't help them, she will die. Without you, she will die."   
  
The tears soon stopped.   
  
"I-I don't understand."   
  
Her voice was shaky but gaining in strength.   
  
"Red, when it's time, you will know what to do. Just know that they love you."   
  
With that he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Her eyes closed at the simple gentleness of it. When she opened them he was gone. But the faint feel of his lips remained and faded away. The redhead didn't notice doorknob turn.   
  
Xander poked his head in part of the hourly check of his best friend. But a rush of panic went through him at the site of the disheveled bed. Following the tangled sheets to see a tired worn out Willow sitting in the corner.   
  
That panic turned to wary excitement. This was good, maybe.   
  
"Willow"   
  
The sound of her name caused her head to turn towards him, her eyes following. With her friends face she remembered the love he and her friends had for her. With that she smiled.   
  
Seeing his friends tentative smile his heart leapt. Immediately he kneeled down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. His own sobs shaking his body.   
  
For the first time in what seemed like ages she felt safe in her friends arms and eagerly hugged back.  
  
++++  
  
A/N: All right well I'm getting some confidence here from the great responses.   
  
If more people write reviews then I might write faster.  
  
If you like my story I have more (shameless self promotion)  
  
If you hate my story leave a flaming review and go straight to hell (kidding, don't leave a flaming review). :)   
  
If you like my story then check out my favorite authors or favorite stories, theirs are way better than mine. 


	8. Mixed feelings

Title: The shell without Humanity  
Rating:PG-13  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
++++  
  
The room was thick with awkward silence. In the background you could faintly hear Giles rubbing his glasses.   
  
The scoobies were seated around the table with only the watcher standing behind them. Each felt a combination of exhaustion and tension. The tension was the result of a certain Wicca coming down the steps.   
  
With her the battle lines had been drawn. Xander was sided with Willow, a preverbal guard dog. Willing to defend her against anyone, partly because she had been his friend before all of them, but also because he wasn't exactly in everyone's favorite person.   
  
Anya still hated him for the wound in her heart he had caused.   
  
Giles didn't say anything but he could tell the man was a bit disappointed in him.   
  
He was okay with Dawn, but the fact he had sided with the person who almost got her killed twice reopened the healing division between them.   
  
And Buffy.   
  
That's the person who he was willing to battle. Yes he had been known to let his mouth run without a brain controlling it. He also knew that what had happened between Spike and her was her business.   
  
But if he kept quiet, she would never tell anyone, that she would box it up and shove it in the closet. In doing so she would let everyone keep there eyes closed to the threat that he had been aware of all the time.   
  
He often talked about what a threat Spike was, but with the apparent reputation to let his mouth run away, they had just tossed it aside as a rant.   
  
But now the thing had done something bad, something to Buffy. The incident would destroy any illusion that the vampire was docile or neutered. It had already destroyed Dawns view of Spike as a friend, and she was his strongest advocate.   
  
Each time he thought of this it brought mixed feelings of happiness and sadness. He was happy her eyes were finally open to what Spike really was, but sad she had to feel the pain of having that illusion ripped down.   
  
It almost happened when the thing had confessed his sick obsession to Buffy. They had almost finished the wall that kept the vampire out of the group. But then Spike had to act noble.   
  
The one thing that Xander admitted was the awe he felt for Spike when he stood up to Glory's torture.   
  
But the obsession however strong was still just a obsession. Then slowly the vampire crawled into almost every aspect of Xander's world.   
  
When he found out about Spike and Anya it was almost the straw that broke the camels back. She was supposed to be the one place away from the outside, where slayers and neutered vampires didn't exist.   
  
That world was destroyed when his eyes were set upon the two having sex on the table. Finally, after he had gotten his head out of the murderous haze after seeing Buffy on the bathroom floor, a part of his mind that he didn't talk to much realized he had the tool to finally finish the wall and seal the cracks.   
  
The larger more rational part of his mind automatically said that it was her business, and that it would hurt everyone more so.   
  
But the little part of his mind kept going on and on, until he had finally blurted it out to Dawn.   
  
Course things had gotten a bit distracted when his friend tried to kill everyone. His feelings for her didn't change though, cause he knew that underneath it all the person he knew was still in there.   
  
Xander's heart almost stopped when he saw her smile. In that instant he knew that person was back. But she wasn't the only person who was back. Five days ago when they had stumbled into the magic box, his hand aching and Dawn almost in tears. They hadn't expected to see everyone okay and things as if nothing happened.   
  
After that he had learned a few things that seemed beyond belief. Which was absurd considering their after hours hobby. It took four days for everyone to even look like they had recovered.   
  
They had learned that Willow had sent Spike to a hell dimension where there was supposedly no escaping. He didn't exactly feel bad about that, in fact he though that Spike finally got what he deserved. The vampire had hurt his friends and should get no less.   
  
The problem was that the vampire had gotten out, stronger than before, and with no constraints.   
  
Thankfully all was quiet and the peroxide pest hadn't showed it's head. But the quiet didn't last long and came to climax on this day.   
  
Buffy, against their severe warnings went out to confront it. During the wait all he had done was pace in his apartment and check on his friend. When she had awoken from her catatonic state he had felt everything finally catch up with him. He had sobbed and cried and he didn't care.   
  
When he had stopped they sat for about a minute, just letting each other be there. Out of no where she asked to go to the magic box to help.   
  
Against his good judgment he drove her over there. When they entered Dawn was the first to notice. And with her Giles, and a newly returned, slightly confused Buffy followed. Anya, of course, was the one to say something, the blunt comment started a huge fight that was quelled by Giles yelling for them to shut up.   
  
After that they stared at him in shock, apparently this all had taken a toll on him. That led them to here. All of them around the table. What Willow said next was completely out of the blue and startled everyone.  
  
"I have Spike's soul in me."  
  
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A/N: I'm not a hundred percent sure on the quality of the chapter, never was good at writing Xander. But I needed a transition chapter to help fill in some gaps and round the story a bit more.  
  
Once again I invite you all to review if you have constructive critism. If you are just flaming me because you hate the story or just for the hell of it, don't and get a life.   
  
Or you could kiss my round white &%@ (damn ff.net censors)  
  
As for the rest of you, you can just admire it from afar. ;)  
  
If you read this far, then I implore you to read my favorite authors, theirs is a lot better than mine. 


	9. Demony bodies

Title: The shell without Humanity  
Rating:PG-13  
Disclaimer: Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
++++  
  
They all sat there in bewilderment. Each staring at the Redhead. She hadn't looked any of them in the eye, keeping them intently on the floor. Out of all of them she could feel Buffy's eyes boring into her. The witch had used this to hurt her. Giles was the first to speak.   
  
"Oh lord."  
  
His was a weary whisper. This whole day had drained him, Willow trying to kill him, Spike returning with more power than ever, four days of issues, Xander being, well Xander. But it was this day that seemed to put a strain on him the most.  
  
It began with a argument with Buffy, trying to convince her to avoid the newly and slightly ominous vampire. She didn't listen, of course, storming off to confront a very powerful demon that could potentially hurt her emotionally. During her absence the watcher paced the length of the shop, his agitation building with each moment. He nearly had a heart attack when a pillar of black flame appeared then receded, revealing Buffy. After nearly hugging or slapping the girl he inquired how it went. Apparently Spike had things to do he didn't want his slayer to see or interfere with. Very big bad things. But before he could get anymore out of her Xander and Willow walked in.   
  
The watcher had almost said things couldn't get worse, something he should have learned by now never to say. Somehow he didn't things would be looking up. The happenings after just drained him further, and made him snap. Shaking his head out of the daze, something he kept seeing Buffy do, maybe it's contagious.   
  
"How may I ask you know this?"   
  
Her eyes flickered to his for a moment before returning to the table.   
  
"Um, well, he kinda, um, told me."  
  
They almost smiled at the sputtering Willow they all recognized. Buffy looked at her confused.   
  
"Wait he told you? Spike?"   
  
Anya ventured a question.   
  
"Evil demony Spike or chain smoking Spike?"   
  
The slight affection in her voice rubbed Xander the wrong way.  
  
"There's a difference?"   
  
Anya's eyes turned to him in annoyance. She didn't really have a lot of emotion for the vampire, but she sympathized with the orgasm giving demon and liked him better than this new dark magic one.   
  
"Well considering one saved your useless, yet muscular butt, while the other obviously has intentions of sucking the world into a hell dimension. I'd say there's a difference."   
  
Not really having a comeback for that he sighed and looked at everyone else he muttered.   
  
"Guess we know where your loyalties lie."   
  
That pissed her off causing her to stand up abruptly.  
  
"Bite me Harris, I helped you when miss-Wicca here was out flaying evil dateless nerds..."   
  
In automatic guard mode Xander shot up.   
  
"Hey!"   
  
She continued.   
  
"...I don't need to risk my life you people. The only reason any of you let me hang out with you was because I was with Xander. You are not my friends. Everyone who has ever come close has either died or was sent to a hell dimension by you."   
  
Her eyes went straight to the Witch who was already in the process of shrinking as small as her chair would allow. Returning her eyes to a slightly shocked Xander.   
  
"So if you keep questioning my loyalty get out of my place of buisness."   
  
She began to walk away before she turned to the shocked group.   
  
"And she isn't crazy or lying, she does have his soul."   
  
The vengeance demon then turned and walked straight toward the training room . Without looking at her Giles asked.   
  
"How..."   
  
Turning around she gripped the door.  
  
"As Xander so gladly announced I'm a demon, I can see it."   
  
With that she slammed the door shut. They could hear thumps and her grunts as she took out her anger on the equipment. Slumping into the chair Xander put his head in his hands, rubbing the weariness out of his face. Giles merely sighed.   
  
"Congratulations Xander, you've managed to further enrage a thousand year old vengeance demon."   
  
With that he put his glasses on the table and sat heavily in Anya's vacant chair. Xander didn't lift his head   
  
"Thanks Giles I wasn't sure if everyone hadn't noticed the painfully obvious."   
  
With that the room grew silent again. Only a whisper broke it.   
  
"It was the soul."  
  
That got Gile's attention.   
  
"Pardon?"  
  
Straightening in the chair she continued.   
  
"The soul said it was inside me."   
  
Giles milled this around in his head for a little while before asking.  
  
"Did it say anything else, why the soul was in you?"   
  
Willow seemed a bit nervous, she still couldn't believe he was still looking at her after she tried to kill him.   
  
"Um, he said big things are going to happen and that if I didn't help then Buffy would die."   
  
Giles suddenly was very rigid, and alarmed. Memories flashed of when she had heard about the master prophesy. Dawn paled and clutched at Buffy's hand. The slayer just looked dazed. Trying to get anything the watcher continued.   
  
"He said Buffy would die if you didn't help?"   
  
The witch was about to agree when she remembered his exact wording. Things often went wrong when people didn't say exactly what they heard.   
  
"He didn't name Buffy specifically, H-he just said "she" would die. I assumed he was speaking about Buffy. Cause ya know, it's Spike, or soul Spike."   
  
The watcher's mind concentrated on the words. He knew enough about ominous cryptic messages that it turned out as you least expected. He understood the assumtion, though he had to take into account that the soul is neither Spike nor his former human self. So that left Anya, Buffy, and Dawn. Or any other woman on the hellmouth.   
  
"Well we can't really rule out any of you except Willow. But I do think that it's safe to assume that the big things Spike was speaking of will come from Spike. I mean, oh hell you know what I mean."   
  
He turned to his slayer next who had been hoping that he had forgotten to ask her.   
  
"Did you learn of anything important?"   
  
Whenever she and Spike was used in the same subject she became nervous.   
  
"Well, I got in there and he wasn't in the crypt, then I went below to check. He was there, On the wall was a huge mural demon thingy and on the floor too."   
  
He took it all in, annoyed that it was vague. Thousands of spells use symbols and murals, the fact there were two divides them, but not nearly enough.   
  
"Bodies!"  
  
The exclamation startled everyone.   
  
"There were bodies sitting against the wall. Few were human magicy types, the others were really ugly demony bodies. I think there were twelve."   
  
Looking at her sister with pride written in her face, Buffy failed to notice the troubled look on the watchers face. That had struck something with him a memory of the past that seemed just out of his reach. Gile's first instinct was to consult the dark books, but before he could, his eyes caught the whites of Willows. She was wide eyed looking at the table, but he could tell she was lost in herself, thinking. The watcher was instantly concerned.   
  
"Willow what's wrong?"   
  
All attention was now on her now pale drawn face. The witch's looked at him and opened her mouth trying to speak but she couldn't force the sound out of her throat. That's when it struck Giles. She knows what Spike is going to do. And from the look on her face it was bad. Xander had gone to trying to calm her down along with Buffy.   
  
Dawn not occupied turned to the Watcher for answers.   
  
"Giles what's wrong with her? Why is she acting like this."   
  
Giles focus was still on the shaking witch.   
  
"She knows what he's going to do."   
  
Dawn face was scrunched in confusion. But then it suddenly twisted into one of fear. Giles noticed she was looking at something behind him.  
  
"Always knew she was the brains of the group."  
  
Everyone whipped around at the sound of the familiar voice. Standing casually in the corner was the black haired, leather coat wearing subject of the conversation. They all were shocked for a moment. What he did next wasn't what anyone was expecting. He waved.  
  
++++  
  
A/N: I know my last chapter wasn't really up to par, if you don't like it don't read the damn chapter.   
  
I've had a particular person review and he/she (don't know which) seemed to be confused. If there was any pairing in this story it would be B/S friendly, so looking for anything else is futile.  
  
I do appreciate those who had something real to say and I sincerely thank you. :)  
  
Thank you for the wonderful reviews, please continue with the praise/criticism 


	10. Chills and screams

Title: The shell without Humanity  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
++++  
  
She woke up with a jolt.   
  
The fact she wasn't safe immediately set in when she felt the cold stone against her back. Especially when she realized her arms and legs were shackled to the floor, with cuffs that bit into her skin. Wild eyes searched the surroundings, looking for some recognizable object or a way to escape but found none in the dark expanse.   
  
There were candles everywhere but it was still hard to see anything slightly recognizable. Instead when she turned to her left she was met with a very ugly demon.   
  
After her scream died down she noticed a few things, one, it was dead, two there was another one to her right. Seeing that neither of the demons were alive, and realizing she might be the next, she started tugging at her chains, testing if they would give.   
  
When they didn't she began to panic even more. Her heart seemed to want to leap out of her chest. Remembering what Buffy had taught her, she began to take deep breaths and the frantic body started to calm.   
  
While looking for something to unhinge, or pry off the shackles her eye caught something, something strange on the floor. A weird black marking. When she felt it she noticed it was burned into the floor and was still warm. That either meant it was made recently or was magic. Both possibilities did not help her.   
  
Following the arch it made she noticed that it surrounded her and ended in the wall. Slowly she looked around and took in the terrible sight that was before her. Around her there were twelve dead bodies, six on each side, some human and others demons. Each had a circle and a weird symbol burned into their foreheads. And each circle had a line stemming from it connecting to a center circle.   
  
As she looked around she noticed the pentagram mural on the back wall, the huge spiral in the middle surrounding the center circle.   
  
One thing seemed to click in her head as she looked at the intricate burns on the floor and walls. The pentagram and the circle in the middle of the spiral all were lined up with her directly. A cold chill went down her back.   
  
She jumped when she heard the faint humming coming from somewhere in the darkness. Her eyes frantically searched the background for the source. When she gave up hope of seeing anything other than dim candle light she noticed the source was moving in the shadows closer to her.   
  
When she recognized the voice, the floodgate of memories rushed back to her. When Willow had entered the magic box with Xander her mind was torn. Part of her wanted to run and hug the witch in relief that she was alright. The other jumped in fear because of what she had done, and tried to do. She understood what Willow did to Warren, but she didn't stop with him. Things had gotten progressively worse and a little confusing.   
  
Why couldn't there just be one Spike, not two?   
  
Then he appeared. Spike, or, whoever, looked so different from what he used to. The black hair and dark eyes almost made you think he was someone else.  
  
  
  
He had been very direct. He was doing some evil spell and needed one of us to finish it. When the gang couldn't draw anymore information out of him they automatically tried to launch an attack. Giles and Buffy leading with everyone else looking to help. But with a wave of his hand everything went dark.   
  
She was shocked out of her memories when she realized that he had somehow managed to get right in front of her with her noticing. He stood not ten feet away from her, the candle light shining off his body, hiding his face. For a second she thought the person in front of her wasn't Spike. But soon came to the realization that brought tears to her eyes. It was Spike as he really appeared to be.   
  
Her tears finally fell when she saw his face, and lack there of. He had gone and felt things that left their mark on him. What seemed to really scare her was the way he was looking at her. Nothing, not a single telltale of emotion was on his face. And it finally hit her.   
  
This wasn't Spike anymore.   
  
This scarred, mangled body is all that's left the vampire she had once relied on. He just stood there, not moving, humming his strange little tune, and for a moment she thought she might be safe.   
  
That was soon done away with when her eyes caught the glint of the knife in his hand.   
  
The vampire must have seen her body react to the sight, cause he soon started toward her. Her struggles became more and more frantic as he neared. Doing the only thing she could think of, she spoke.   
  
"Spike, please don't. Don't do this."   
  
He didn't even twitch a muscle. Just kept the smooth pace. His voice was raspy and even as he made his way toward her.   
  
"You know, he sobbed like a baby after the first year or two. It was a constant blackness that slid over him. Burning him, violating him, causing him unimaginable pain. It soon swirled inside him, devouring the demon this body held. But before he died he saw something. Something blacker and darker than what was eating him alive."   
  
Her tears came harder as he kneeled down. Some from fear of what he was going to do and others from what he was telling her.  
  
"He knew what was going to happen. So instructions were made in those last few coherent moments. He bound me in magic to follow them, part of those instructions involves causing you pain. A pain which I have no quarrel with being the source of."   
  
While he was speaking he raised the knife and slid it over his free hand. The vampire then set down the knife and dipped his scarred thumb into the black oil oozing out of the fresh wound. The wound that closed up after the digit had a good coating. She looked on in paralyzing fear.   
  
With unnatural swiftness his newly healed hand then dived into her hair grabbing it roughly causing her to cry out in pain. He brought her eyes to where his use to be. His voice had gotten deep and dark.  
  
"So remember, please, doesn't work on me."   
  
His thumb then painted the black oil onto her forehead in a strange unknown design. It felt warm at first then soon got hotter until she could feel her skin start to sizzle. The sound of Dawns screams soon drowned out any other noise in the crypt.  
  
+++++  
  
A/N: HA! I'm back, I've gotten some free time on my hands and the creative juices are flowin, so the chapters are going to start coming.  
  
First things first, I'm not going to apologize for not updating for a long time, nope, not going to happen, no siree bob. Ok I'm sorry :(  
  
It's wittling down to the end of the story. Thank you for the reviews, and please keep reviewing, Tell me what you think cause I ain't no mind reader. 


	11. My eye itches

Title: The shell without Humanity  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
++++  
  
You could tell they were warriors heading into battle. Each was carrying at least one weapon. You could also tell who was the leader and most determined.   
  
Though when you think leader you usually don't think of a short, fake blonde, girl. But you could tell that if you got in her way, there wouldn't be enough left of you to fill an ashtray. And the people behind her mimicked her face to certain degrees. But only one didn't feel the determination on the inside as shown on her face.   
  
So much had happened to that little red haired once girl now woman. She had gone from hell and back, evil and good.   
  
Now she felt odd, like there was something missing. Like there was some part of this whole situation that wasn't present, or known about.   
  
Something wasn't right.   
  
Willow had been the first to awaken, probably because her magic soaked body. It took her ten minutes just waking everyone else up. Xander had taken the longest, batting her away and telling her that he wanted ten more minutes on the pony. She promptly smacked him upside the head startling him awake.   
  
Though he took the longest, he was the calmest.   
  
Buffy had automatically started looking for the person missing. When she found out it was Dawn, the volcano had awakened in the slayer. Forgetting everyone and everything she grabbed an axe and started for the magic box door.   
  
It took Xander and Giles to barely hold her back while Willow calmly explained what was going on.   
  
The spell was called "the summoning" Ancient and powerful, it requires twelve magical sources of varying power to charge the center and summon a huge source of power. All to integrate it permanently into the summoner.   
  
When asked why he took dawn Willow replied that he had somehow modified the spell and didn't know how she fit in. All she did know was that Dawn could be used as a source and would be killed during the process.   
  
Obviously the wrong thing to say to an enraged woman with super strength.   
  
A slap from Giles was all it took to bring her out of her anger. Buffy looked at him with shocked and hurt expression that made Giles want to melt, hug her, and apologize all at the same time. But he stood fast and calmly informed her that they needed a plan.   
  
It was decided that all they needed to do was take away Dawn and destroy one of the sources to stop the spell.   
  
Willow would run interference while Buffy and Giles got Dawn out of there. Xander and Anya would stand by and protect Willow while she was casting the magic.   
  
Willow was almost hysterically frightened of what might happened if she used such power again, she didn't voice it, though she could tell that everyone, well except Buffy, was a bit wary about her using it to. But the situation called for it and they had no other choice.   
  
So they set off. Each with their own weapon in hand. All riding off to fight someone that they once relied on at one time or another. The situations similarity to another was not lost to everyone.   
  
Them going to stop a seemingly unbeatable force from killing Dawn. It reminded all of them of Glory.   
  
Xander was afraid, but would gladly take a fatal hit for everyone here. Giles feared for Buffy, he knew if it came down to it that Buffy would ultimately put Dawn's life over everyone's, especially her own. He didn't know if he could survive it happening again. Buffy's mind seemed to wander, crossing between mind numbing rage, to fear for Dawn. She didn't fear for her friends, cause she knew they could take care of themselves.   
  
After a few moments of ruminating and wondering, her mind seemed to focus on something strange. This was so much like the walk before the battle with Glory, but something was off, missing from the scene. She then realized the difference.   
  
Spike.   
  
He had been there, to make the promise, to say those last words, to offer that small piece of extra support that she needed. Now they were going off to stop him from killing the one person he swore to protect. This thought made her determined face falter for a moment. It really struck home, that wasn't the Spike she knew, she fought with, had sex with, had…cared for. The Spike she knew had died in a place of pain and darkness. Now all was left was a monster after her sister.   
  
With a renewed rage, the slayer's face solidified into a look of pure determination. Buffy's voice was harsh.   
  
"Remember, mission's to get Dawn out of there, then stop Spike, or, whoever he is. Don't get distracted. You get distracted, she dies."   
  
Everything stopped.   
  
They were all frozen in mid stride except for Willow.   
  
She stood there stunned and frightened. A million things ran through her head. Moving from one scooby to another she waved her hands, pushed, hit and yelled trying to get them to move, but nothing happened. They didn't twitch, move a muscle or budge from the spot they were in. She even went to the extreme of poking Anya in the eye. But her finger didn't damage anything, and Anya stayed in her frightened expression.   
  
Panicking she whipped her head around to search for danger.   
  
Instead she saw Spike, or she should say William, standing there in all white and slightly glowing. She calmed a bit and notice he was looking at the frozen Buffy, wearing a sad smile on his face. His voice seemed to slide into the silence, soft and kind.   
  
"It's amazing how this young woman could inspire so much love and good in a evil demon. He loved her more than he loved anyone, that stupid vampire."   
  
Hearing the sadness in his voice broke her heart.   
  
"What about you?"   
  
That seemed to deepen the grin on his face, and finally drew his attention to Willow. He chuckled   
  
"No that was all Spike, though I can understand why he did. Unfortunately even love can't keep under a constant strain, especially in that situation. Even more so with demons, that love can get twisted into something completely different if not properly tended to. He knew that, and I think he realized that after he realized what he had tried to do. Probably why he sought to get me. Doesn't matter now."   
  
Tentatively she spoke.   
  
"What's wrong with them?"   
  
"Nothing, this is a millisecond frozen in your mind. So really your still walking, but in this moment, time is frozen."   
  
She understood this, though she knew it would confuse most, because, well most people are geniuses with a small social lives.   
  
"Why"   
  
His face seemed to get more serious as he spoke while walking towards her.   
  
"Because it is finally time to tell you what's going to happen, and what you need to do."   
  
Squaring her shoulders she stood firm in front of him.   
  
"I'm ready."   
  
He stopped in front of her and smirked.   
  
"Yeah, you are."   
  
Without warning his hand grabbed hers.   
  
The scoobies were marching toward the crypt when suddenly Willow stumbled. Xander was quick to catch her before she fell completely and pushed her along while holding her.   
  
Buffy and Giles took no notice and continued walking. Whispering Xander spoke.   
  
"Will you okay?"   
  
Willow didn't look at him and soon regained her balance but answered.   
  
"Yeah, I am."   
  
The missing piece had been added. The whole thing was clear and attainable. But would she have the courage to go through with it.  
  
With that they moved back in formation as the crypt came into view.  
  
In the background you could hear Anya say in an irritated voice.  
  
"My eye itches"  
  
++++  
  
A/N: They just keep coming, one after the other, I know you're scared, your saying "It's too much, I can't handle all this crappy writing!"   
  
But I ain't stopping, I'M FINISHING IT BABY!  
  
Almost done, Probably one more long chapter and that's it, no more falling alseep on you keyboard then waking up with checkered skin. IT WILL SOON COME TO AN END!  
  
I've had way too much sugar.  
  
Anyway please keep reviewing, tell me how bad my work is so I can improve, but don't be a total ass (HA! ff.net censors missed that one) say some good things too. 


	12. all that's left is ashes

Title: The shell without Humanity  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
++++  
  
He moved in the darkness of the crypt without eyes.   
  
He needed none.   
  
Everything had been prepared as instructed. The combination was set and ready to unlock it.   
  
He often wondered why he even did anything anymore, there was nothing inside him, he was empty, and in the abyss lied the darkness that kept him among the living so to speak.   
  
He slowly walked around his creation. If he was truly evil, he would admire the beauty of the whole terrible display. Twelve beings of immense dark power, dead but still containing the necessary magic to fuel the lock. And the little extra icing on the cake, the innocent girl. The one who might not survive.   
  
If he was truly good he would cringe away from this place, feeling the room soaked in dark magic, such evil and power like none other. But at the same time he would be concerned and fear for the girl. The same girl giving him the most angered, hurt and evil glare he had ever seen while tears ran down her cheeks.   
  
But he was nothing, just a shell, felt nothing except for the few wisps of emotion left behind. The one thing he did feel for was the perfection of the whole play. The way things would come from completely different directions to lock onto one moment.   
  
As he walked he could feel the first tumbler lock into place, the stars, planets, and earth were moving into position. Deciding to prepare himself, he cut his hand and began to paint the appropriate symbols and designs on his body with his black blood.   
  
He focused on how the oil would slide onto his skin, then sizzle and dry. He wondered when his body had no longer became a consumer, drawing from the dark magic, to becoming the dark magic, his blood incarnate of what laid within him.   
  
Something in him stirred, curiosity, he hadn't really thought of it, but he found it so strange that the demon had fought this, fought such power. He of course could no longer understand it because there was nothing that could explain it, no emotion to work off of.   
  
As he painted on the thick tar, which he called his blood, his mind began to wander toward the possibilities. Depending on how things went he could die, sent forever into the peaceful oblivion, or slaughter them all and rule this bright planet. Which did he want?   
  
Not even the "powers that be" could know.   
  
But it could go either way. The spell had been created in the dark place of pain and tears, a combination to a lock placed at the beginning of time. But the vampire had been bold in his last few hours of stained sanity and added something to it.  
  
His ears caught the sound of her crying again, muttering the slayer's name. He found no pleasure in it but chuckled all the same. In a way this all is the cause of the short blonde.   
  
His chuckling stopped when he felt that it was time to lock in the second tumbler. Walking smoothly and without haste he moved into the center circle. Kneeling, he put both hands on the symbols at his sides that allowed him to power the great machine he had created.   
  
He then began to hum. The sound in his throat sounded like a thousand soft words spoke in a thousand different languages, all coming together into a low hum that vibrated the whole room. He could feel the power stretching, using the burn markings as conduits in which to ride. He couldn't see it, but he knew the markings on the floor were glowing and pulsing away from him along the spiral, slowly stretching out to each of the circles surrounding the sources, including Dawn. The second tumbler was locked into place.   
  
In the background he could hear and smell the girls growing panic. He almost chuckled again, that sound would have once brought the vampire to his knees, now he didn't care if she lived or died. The hum got more and more intense, going from soft words to shouting chants. Now the flow was reversed. The symbols on the foreheads of the sources began to glow as the power was being drawn from them. It was then he heard the girl scream.  
  
++++  
  
They had been cautious when entering the crypt. Watchful for any demon ambushes or booby-traps.   
  
It felt like the whole place was vibrating, making the hairs on the back of everyone's neck stand on end. Willow was visibly shaking, the darkness surrounded this place, and a part of her felt the draw towards it, while the majority cringed.   
  
The cautiousness was thrown out the window as Buffy dashed forward into the lower level after hearing Dawn scream. Giles yelled after her but nothing was stopping her. Seeing this they all went into a sprint. When they all got down there the sight before them was something almost beautiful but terrifying at the same time.   
  
The room glowed a bright fire like color, and a single pulse, some brighter than others, moved from each of the dead bodies, riding the lines stemming from each circle toward the spiral. Everyone except for Buffy was taken aback by Spikes appearance. You could see the tears shine in Willows eyes.   
  
"DAWN!"   
  
They were all shaken out of their own thoughts when they heard Buffy yell. What they saw left them wide eyed. Bright light, green light, looked like cream in the air, was coming out of Dawn's mouth and eyes, sliding along the markings to stop in a circle of writing along the line stemming from her circle. Once all the light stopped sliding out of her, Dawn went limp, eyes eerily open, staring at nothing.   
  
That shot a jolt through everyone who immediately ran to her. Buffy quickly broke the chains holding her baby sister and cradled her body while Giles took her pulse.   
  
Buffy's eyes clouded over with tears and looked at Giles imploringly. When He took his fingers away tears fell down the watcher's face.   
  
"I'm sorry Buffy."   
  
She just stared at him for what seemed like hours, but slowy her face crumpled, she began to sob into her little sisters shoulder, rocking her dead body gently.   
  
Everyone around the two were crying, except for the Willow. She herself was staring at was happening all around them. The pulses were moving along the spiral joining together, getting brighter as they moved closer to the center. When the pulse was almost halfway there, the whitish green light holding in the second circle began to move along the spiral.   
  
Seeing this Willow knew it was almost time. Pushing past the group she kneeled in front of the weeping slayer.   
  
"Buffy, listen to me, I can bring her back..."   
  
Giles was the first to object.   
  
"No Willow, not again..."   
  
She ignored him and continued trying to get the crying slayers attention.   
  
"Her soul is in the spiral Buffy, mixed in with all the key energy,"   
  
That caught her attention. With teary eyes she looked at the light make it's way past the halfway point. They all looked in the direction. The fiery pulse reached the center circle. When it entered the circle All the surface veins in his body blackened, and the symbols on his body burned brightly. As quickly as it had entered his body with such violence it left , running along the line behind him up the wall and into the spiral around the pentagram. Willow, seeing she was running out of time, continued.   
  
"We can't stop him now, It's gone too far, but if we do this, we have to draw it back through the spiral before it reaches him. "   
  
Buffy looked a bit lost, looking at each of the people around her before settling her eyes on the strained form in the center of it all. With that her face hardened and she tersely nodded.   
  
Willow gently took Dawns limp form from her sisters arms and laid her down length wise on top of the line leading to the spiral. Soon they were all sitting around the body holding hands with Willow facing the pentagram mural.  
  
She began chanting using the love and energy in the circle to separate the key energy from the soul. Willow could see part of the light reverse it's direction and without warning shot through the spiral into Dawn. Her body arched as her open eyes glowed in a way Buffy knew all too well.   
  
"Buffy?"   
  
Dawn immediately sat up and hugged her sister with a force that would break a normal persons ribs. They were crying now, all of them, but this time it wasn't because of grief.   
  
Of course Anya was the person to break the touching moment.   
  
"Umm guys, not to totally ruin the moment but Spike's still trying to unleash a big evil."   
  
Everyone's attention went from the vengeance demon to the vampire.   
  
The pulse had made it to the Pentagram.   
  
The earth had started to shake, and for the first time they noticed that the humming noise had gotten painfully loud. The White energy moving toward him was almost there when the Pentagram opened to show a deep blackness behind it. For a moment nothing happened, like calm before the storm. Suddenly a huge demon spewed forth.   
  
It had two long horns, red eyes and it's lower half was vapor, in fact the whole body was translucent and glowed with power. Willow jumped back, her body starting to shake hard because of the darkness and evil it filled the room with.   
  
At the same time both the key energy and the demon, were sucked into his body. They all cringed when he let out a long and gut wrenching scream. Everything seemed to explode, wind from nowhere blew hard like a storm blowing out the candles. The ground shook so hard that it cracked in many place. Such was the violence that caused them to huddled together to protect against the raging magic.   
  
But something odd happened, Spike seemed to calm as if nothing was happening. He looked at Buffy and Dawn, like the old Spike used to. Everything seemed to fall away, the wind and shaking earth weren't there. A moment of understanding and focuse dawned on the two, this is how it was planned, how it was supposed to happen. The evil was being destroyed by the ancient key energy.   
  
In the end Spike had protected them. Even after his death.  
  
He smiled.   
  
The smile was so simple, soft and kind that it made Dawn's eyes well up with new tears. The shaking started to worsen when the lines burned into his body began to glow, flickering from fire to green light, growing brighter and brighter until they had to cover their eyes, crowding together to offer some sort of protection.   
  
Then it all stopped.   
  
The wind disappeared, and the ground calmed. When they all opened their eyes the room was almost completely dark, the only light came from the few candles that had survived the storm. From the little light they saw the room was empty, the murals had been scarred and scratched beyond recognition, all that was left was a little ash in the center of the room.   
  
Dazed they collected themselves and got back up. Dawn and Buffy clutching each other slowly walked toward the center to where the ash laid.   
  
It was weird, all that was left of him was ash. Didn't seem fitting. For someone who entered their lives in darkness, and left them in the light, just seemed to be a mocking tribute to him.   
  
Nothing remained of him, just ashes.   
  
++++  
  
A/N: AHA! THE LAST CHAPTER! It's finished, finito, finis, fin. You get the idea. I think I rushed it a bit, but it's hard to find a good ending at the right pace.  
  
Tell me what you think, about the story, about the characters, about the ending. for the love of god Please!   
  
If you have too much to write for a simple review, e-mail me. igore_12584@yahoo.com  
  
I would like to thank those people who did review and were supportive. for those who weren't supportive, kiss my lilly white @#$ you @#$%*es. (damn ff.net censors)  
  
If you would like me to write an epilogue you will either have to review, or e-mail me what you would like in it. 


	13. Believing its real

Title: The shell without Humanity  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: AU on Grave. During, not after so it's more original than most.   
  
Note: I know this is a repost of the same chapter but I just thought I should tell you that it is official. There is a sequel. It is titled "Demons from the past" and I beg that you read and review it. Thank you.  
  
++++  
  
Buffy entered the room as quietly as possible and closed the door as silently.   
  
She didn't want to alert anyone to her absence. But right now she had to be alone. Too many things had just happened for her to be around anyone at the moment. After closing it she rested her forehead against the door.   
  
She almost lost her sister. Even saying it caused a lump of fear to rise in her throat.   
  
For a few brief, terrifying moments, her sister had died and laid cold in her arms. The slayer could feel the pain and panic start to rise in her. Trying not to let more tears fall she closed her eyes. And whispered a mantra she had been saying all night.   
  
"She's all right, alive, not dead, Dawn is all right."   
  
It helped, but she could still not shake off the fact she had been powerless to stop Dawn from dying. Faintly she could hear the outbursts and questions from the others as Willow calmly explained to everyone else what had happened. But Buffy already knew.   
  
Something bad was coming, something that he thought they wouldn't have survived, and from another dimension, one of pain she didn't want to imagine, he set out to protect them.   
  
A plan that involved killing Dawn.   
  
This is what tore her, she was in a rage of protectiveness toward her sister, but was also sad and astonished to the lengths which that stupid vampire had gone to save them. She never would be able to thank him, or show him how much she... loved him?   
  
Did she, how could she tell, what she felt was so different from everything else. Love didn't really describe it well enough. She would never have the chance to try. The anger began to bubble inside her. Even if she could love him, it would have been wasted on him. The Spike she knew had no soul. How could anyone without a soul love, how could anyone without a soul care so much, try so much, take such a beating just to get back up again to take another.  
  
She shook her head and wiped away the tears that were threatening to fall. She couldn't believe he could love. Because if he did love her, her world built on simple truths would collapse into a muddied gray. It's not possible, if he did love her then why would he do that to her hurt her, and if she loved him...she didn't, she couldn't.   
  
What would that make her? A horrible person for using him, beating him. Or loving him, a thing that killed half of Europe, a thing who fought by her side, fought for her, hurt her, then went to make it right. Through all this she realized that she missed him.   
  
He had been there through some of the toughest parts of her life. At first he was the one of the causes, but after his "realization" he helped, gave her support when she needed it. But with Spike, things never really went the way he wanted it to. Things got really messed up.   
  
She didn't know when she started using him, but when she did realize it she didn't care. When Riley found them she saw the relationship she wanted, not Riley, but what Riley and Sam had. Seeing that, she couldn't comprehend having it with Spike, because she didn't love him.   
  
She couldn't love him because she never could really believe his love was real. It finally hit her, the truth of it all. She could have had what she wanted with Spike but she didn't because she wouldn't let it become what she wanted.   
  
Trying to rid herself of the thoughts running through her head she turned to go to bed. Right in mid stride she froze. Standing there leaning against the wall was Spike, well what looked like Spike, he had brown hair, wearing all white, and was glowing.   
  
Without hesitation she started to laugh with tears in her eyes. This caught his attention and caused his eyebrow to raise.   
  
"You won't leave will you, you'll haunt me till I die. Just when I think your finally gone, here you are."   
  
This obviously amused him because he smiled a very un-like Spike smile.   
  
"Yeah, life and death's a bitch."   
  
"Yeah"   
  
She stopped smiling and wiped away the tears on her face.   
  
"So what now, more threats and ominous finger paintings."   
  
This made him outright laugh, something she had never really heard him do.   
  
"No, no, nothing like that, just had to deliver a package before I'm off to heaven. They don't like us souls down here for too long. Tends to freak people out a bit."   
  
The smile returned to her face, if not somewhat faded.   
  
"In my world this is low key. So oh cosmic delivery man what ya got for me?"   
  
He smiled again but this time it took on a somber shade. Walking up to her he held out his hand and a small blue box appeared.   
  
"Last words."   
  
She became very serious and slowly took the box out of his hand. The instant it was out of his hand William disappeared. Sitting down on the bed she stared at the box for a full minute before opening it. Inside she saw a folded piece of paper that had been there for a long time. Under it was what looked like a pure white marble. But what was odd was the little swirls of white light inside it. Setting the box with the marble inside down on the bed she carefully unfolded the paper inside. Written messily was what looked to be a letter.   
  
////  
  
Have to write this, can't do much else.   
  
It's in me now, swirling inside, burning and cold. Eating away at me until I'm just...  
  
I don't know how long it's been since I saw the black eyes.   
  
There is no sun, there are no stars, there is no moon. Just darkness, crawling on my skin. Oh god it's in me it's...  
  
I have power now, useless here, but there I would rule, I would no longer be an outcast, people would fear and tremble. But she wouldn't love me. I know I won't see her ever again. I was never meant to be loved by such a creature as she. I can still remember her scent. The way her hair bounces when she turns.   
  
I will never see that again. I know that. But I have seen what is coming. It is darker than that which surrounds me. It would devour everyone. I made instructions, made the spell, and protected my soul by containing it in that marble.   
  
I sometimes can't think clearly, it's getting hard to have straight thoughts and not get muddled.   
  
If you read this Buffy that means that my plan actually worked. I know you hate me, you should, nothing I have ever done in this world amounts to anything good. But maybe this one time it'll work, maybe I can actually do something right for a change.  
  
If your reading this it also means Willow is among the white hats again. Tell her she did a good job, she has a long road ahead and that I forgive her. Tell the bit I'm sorry. I know that you hate me for using her like that, and you should. But if your reading this then everything turned out alright. Tell her that I'm sorry but I was doing what I could to fulfill my promise. Tell Xander he's a stupid git and to stop fucking around and do everything he can to get Anya back. She's worth the pain and the fight. Tell Rupert that he's a stupid git also, he needs to be with his family. Tell Anya that nothing is wrong with her, she's perfect as she can be.   
  
I'm starting to sound like the poof.   
  
Speaking of tall dark and forehead when you see him, tell him I understand, I finally understand. You know I can almost forget that...that...a...  
  
They're coming soon. I don't think I'll survive another session. I don't like this, they come and make me feel it all at once. Sometimes it cuts, sometimes in burns, other times it freezes. But each time I feel like I'm slowly rotting inside, there's less and less of me in here...I...  
  
I guess I have to get done with this soon. I can feel myself slipping.   
  
Buffy, I know you don't love me, you won't and you can't. In fact I'm quite sure you hate me. But it doesn't change that I love you. You don't believe me, you don't think I can. That it's just an illusion I thought up, that I just love the strength and power. I don't love you because of your strength or your power, I love you because of who you are, a wonderful woman. I don't know how to prove it to you. And sadly I won't be able to do it in person.  
  
You want to know how I feel, what my love is, touch the jewel. You'll see it. Have the witch check it out if you want. I know I'll never...  
  
I'm slipping away again. I don't know where I'll go once it ends. I'm already in hell, maybe my place is in the nothingness. The only thing that will keep me comfort is that you will know my love is real. I better end this now, can't hold on much longer.   
  
Guess these are the last words of William the bloody.   
  
Sod off you wankers!  
  
Spike  
  
////  
  
She sat there for what seemed like hours reading and rereading the letter he had written, and each time she ended up with tears coming down her face and a smile at the end. Not even a hell dimension could take away his sense of humor.   
  
Finally putting it down she glanced at the shiny jewel in the box. With all the bravery she could muster Buffy touched it.   
  
It felt like a soothing warmth went straight from her fingers to her brain. With it the memories came. All of her. All different. But she could tell that they were progressive. With each memory were the feelings that he felt when seeing her.   
  
At first he was a predator stalking his prey, then she was an annoyance and soon a feared enemy. Soon she became a obstacle he couldn't hurtle over. As time went on his passion towards her increased, hate, respect, fear, and soon love.   
  
When it reached love she crumpled over. The feeling was vast and deep, dark, bright, terrible, beautiful love that would rip anyone to pieces. She could feel it consume him whenever he saw her. And with it's birth came the augmentation of all other things toward her.   
  
The hate, fear, admiration, and soon the pain of rejection. It was when Buffy saw her death she screamed. Oh god the pain inside, he felt he failed them all. Especially her. The pain eased a tad when he saw Dawn.   
  
Buffy's tears fell when she saw the night she was brought back. His joy at the sight of her was warmer than anything she felt. Soon that was turned into anger at the rest for bringing her back.   
  
The joy of seeing her was soon replaced by sadness and longing. She had been slipping away from them all and he wanted to bring her back to him.   
  
The next memories were filled with a mix of pain and pleasure. Her words cutting him down and her body bringing him back. As the memories went on the pain got more and more intense, and soon the yearning was replaced by desperation.   
  
It was that final night in the bathroom was what made her cry out. The pain and desperation mixed into something darker. And when she had thrown him off she was hit with his shock and sudden guilt.   
  
The memories ended with him finishing the trials. He had asked for the soul, so he wouldn't ever let things go that far, let that love he held for her at the beginning get twisted again.   
  
When it was done she was left laying on the bed sobbing into her pillow. She didn't hear the banging on the door and Dawns concerned voice. All she did was whisper "I believe you."  
  
++++  
  
In the dark and the deep, a place of tears and blood, a demon hears an echo from far beyond and stirs.  
  
++++  
  
A/N: This is the very last part to this writing.   
  
I hope you liked his last words.   
  
I know you're wondering "what's the deal with the end." I don't know, could it be...hmmm...A SEQUEL!   
  
Review please. I beg you, good bad just tell me what you think. 


End file.
